Why Going Home Does Not Mean Failure

Last Updated: 03/1/23 | March 1st, 2023

“I hear you’re going home?” I asked her as we sat in the hostel’s common room.

“Yeah, I really miss my boyfriend and family. This long-term travel thing just isn’t for me. I’ve cut my trip short and will be going home in a few weeks.”

“Wow,” I replied. It’s not often you hear travelers say they are going home early. If anything, most people want to extend their trip, not cut it short. Well, it’s important to do what makes you happy. At the very least, traveling taught you something about what you do and do not like. That’s a win.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s one way to think about it,” she replied.

And, with that, we moved on with the conversation.

She, like many others I’ve met on the road, headed back home, not in defeat, but victorious, content in the knowledge that they discovered more about themselves.

When I began my travels, a million and one fears and worst-case scenarios went through my mind.

What if I can’t make it?

What if I can’t find friends?

What if I get so lost I can’t find my way back?

What if I get hurt?

What if I run out of money?

What if, what if, what if!

Thanks to the many emails I get from this website, I know those fears are faced by others. It’s comforting to know you aren’t alone.

Many of those “what ifs” that race through our mind keep people from traveling in the first place. We can become so paralyzed by our fear of failure that we forget that all those fears don’t matter because, no matter what happens to us, we can always come home.

There is no defeat in it. Travel is the art of learning about yourself and sometimes you learn travel isn’t for you. It’s OK to say, “I miss my home, I miss my friends, I hate hostels, and it turns out my idea of travel involves moving from one luxury resort to the next.”

The most important thing is that you tried.

I had no idea long-term travel would work for me. My original trip was only for a year and I could have decided to come back home three months in. I had no idea what to expect. I was scared shitless.

But, here I am, over fifteen years later, still in love with travel. I would have never known if I didn’t ignore my fears and try.

We can give in to fear, the “what ifs,” and the worry, and instead stay safe at home. 

Or you can head out the door and try.

Who cares if you decide to cut your trip short? Who cares if you think “this life isn’t for me?” You travel for yourself. You do this for you. The only way you’ll know is if you pack a bag and go.

When I decided years ago it was time to settle down and create roots somewhere, a lot of people emailed me, expressing sadness that I had “given up” traveling.

That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

But times — and people — change.

I had nothing to prove by continuing to travel when my desires lay elsewhere. Travel is a personal experience and at the end of the day, how you feel about it is the only thing that matters. I still believe life on the road is amazing — but sometimes I just want to sit in front of my TV, watch a movie or read a book.

If you’ve been thinking about traveling but worry that you can’t make it a full year around the world or that you might not have the skills to travel, I say to you: Who cares? You can always head home if you want.

So what if you can’t make it? It doesn’t matter.

Going home is not a failure.

Travel teaches us about ourselves and makes us better people. Deciding to come home simply means travel taught you something about yourself that you wouldn’t have known otherwise — that extended travel is not for you.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

A lot of people don’t want to travel long-term. A lot of people don’t like travel in general!

But you will never know what you do or don’t like if you don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit.

And travel is always something that pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Don’t worry if you don’t like it.

Because there will always be a path back. Home will always be there.

So travel and learn something about yourself.

Even if what you learn is that you’d rather be home than in a hostel.